All About Your Heart
by Evalynn Hansen
Summary: Jessica Snow had an interesting upbringing with her father, a feared assassin, the first 17 years of her life. Her entire life is turned upside down, however, when her father receives a phone call asking him to take out one Erik Destler. With the exception of prologue and epilogue, I set this up as Jessica's diary.
1. Prologue

**AN: Hello again! I'm sorry it has been a while. I have some good news, though. I have this entire story written out, so I won't have to leave you guys hanging again. I actually took a long break from this for a while due to writer's block. However, when I returned to it, my creative juices got flowing and I finished it and wrote both a prologue and epilogue to add to it as well. Let me know what you guys think. I promise all questions will be answered in time since I've written everything. Enjoy!**

December 2015

"Yes, Sir. I understand. You don't have to worry about a thing."

My father hung up and plopped down on the bed beside me.

"Another target?" I inquired.

"Yep. This one should be fun."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"No one knows exactly where he's located."

"So we get to track him down, first?!"

I loved those ones. I would always help hack into the off-the-grid websites that would help us track down the few targets people requested that were virtually nonexistent.

"What's his name?" I asked, jumping up and down in my excitement.

"Erik Destler."

I grabbed my laptop and signed in, immediately going to work. My father left me to my hacking job, heading downstairs to get us something to eat. After dinner, I went back to work and continued well into the night. Three days later, I finally found the intended target.

"Daddy, I found him!"

My father came over and scanned the screen.

"Good work, princess."

We made plans and set off a few days later. We arrived outside the asylum where Destler was supposedly located on Christmas eve. My father waited until I was hiding in the bushes as usual to head inside. This was it. The feared assassin Trevor Snow was off to take another target. However, something felt different this time. As I left my post in the bushes, drawn in by some invisible force, I wondered what would happen tonight...


	2. Entry 1: Kill Count

Daddy's Kill Count (As of Capture):

Before I was born: 576

With me: 10,576

Without me: 1,310

Total: 12,462

Failed Attempts: 1*

*Cost him his daughter

Oh, Daddy. Why did you have to go and make that deal? I miss you so much.

-Jessica Snow

**AN: Also decided to post this for you guys since it's the shortest entry. PLEASE leave a review to let me know what you guys think. Update schedule will be every Tuesday and Thursday!**


	3. Entry 2: New Arrival

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Phantom related. Also, a lot of the ideas, mainly the setting of this story comes from the phic Relative Insanity by gravity01. Just thought I should quickly credit them.**

October 15, 2018

UGH! Sorry, I'm kind of frustrated today. It's been two weeks and I haven't so much as seen Erik, much less talked to him. I miss our lessons. The only reason why it's been so long is because of the new girl. She arrived along with her sick father about four weeks ago. Erik agreed to help her father for a price. The price, apparently, was her. She had to stay here. It took him two weeks to get her father back to a healthy, stable condition and then he had to leave. The girl, Christine Daaé is her name I believe, stayed behind.

For the first few days after her father left her behind she sobbed in her room, which happens to be across the hall from mine. Yay me! Anyway, after maybe four or five days Erik summoned her and apparently he's been giving her lessons ever since. Okay, so writing this down now makes me think that I may be slightly jealous of her. But why would I possibly be jealous? There's no logical explanation... Whatever. I'm not going to worry about it. It's not like anybody's going to read this anyway. I can say literally anything and no one will know.

Which is why I feel comfortable keeping Daddy's kill count in here. I've kept it in my other journals too, but this is the last place I'm going to keep it. He's been captured by that pompous snob of an officer, Raoul de Chagny so there's no reason to continue keeping track. Apparently Officer de Chagny is the son of the chief so he's always trying to make him proud and go above and beyond what is expected of him. So naturally he would track down and capture my father of all people. The news has been buzzing about it for several weeks now. They say his execution date should be set soon.

Anyway, back to the new girl. I don't know. I just can't believe he would completely neglect me to teach her. I've been here for nearly three years now! Shouldn't I take priority? No... I suppose since I'm more trained it makes sense for him to focus on the amateur. That doesn't mean he can at least say hello every once in a while! I mean technically it's been four weeks since that's when she first showed up wanting help for her father. Four weeks... Nearly a month. How is that even fair? I'm ranting now...

A little over a month until my birthday! If you want to be specific it's in one month and two days. I'm not sure what Erik will do this year. Or if he'll even do anything. I mean seriously, if he's not going to talk to me in nearly a month why would he possibly do anything for my birthday. I just did the math and my birthday will mark exactly two months since Little Miss Steal-Erik's-Time Daae has arrived. Again writing this down I'm realizing how jealous I sound. *Sigh* It's getting late so I think I'll head to bed. Good night!

-Jessica Snow

**AN: Alright, here you guys go. I wanted to thank SometimesDreamsCanBeReal for being my only reviewer so far. To the other 71 people who have checked out this story, I want to know where your reviews are! There should be a box at the bottom of each chapter where you can write and post a review. I try to respond to all of them and those of you who are guest reviewers have no excuse either. The only thing about you guys is that I can't personally reply and will probably have to answer them in the author's notes at the beginning or end of each chapter I post. Please please please leave a review. I want to know what you guys think and how I can improve. I've never written in this style before so your opinion would be appreciated. Hope you guys like what you see. **


	4. Entry 3: One Month

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything phantom related other than my copy of the 25th anniversary at Royal Albert Hall on dvd that lives in my room:)**

October 17, 2018

One month. One month since that Little-Erik-Stealer arrived. Also one month until my birthday. I'm feeling deprived. I had a conversation with Nadir about it today. I was in the dining room by myself when he walked in.

"Hey, Jessica," he said, taking a seat across from me.

"Hi, Nadir," I replied halfheartedly, picking at my bowl of Cheerios.

"What's wrong?" he inquired.

I glanced up before going back to attacking my cereal.

"It's been a month."

"Since?"

"Since Erik and I spent any time together."

"Ah, I see."

I paused my attack, staring across the table at him.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

The Persian man sighed, running a hand over his face tiredly.

"Anyone with eyes and a brain can tell, Jessica, that you love him, even if you are too scared to admit it to anyone."

My mouth opened and shut a few times before resuming my attack on my bowl. I refused to acknowledge the fact that he was right.

I've admitted to myself many times that I love Erik. However, I've never had the courage to tell him and he seems completely oblivious to any hints I may accidentally drop whenever we're together. I didn't think I was being that obvious, but apparently someone had noticed. And I bet Nadir wasn't the only one who saw. Antoinette must have noticed as well, right? I'll have to find a way to see the next time we talk. However, now I'm going off on a tangent and I'm sure you are curious to know what the rest of my conversation with Nadir was like.

"Jessica?"

I sighed, shoving my bowl away from me and folding my arms over my chest. I glared at the old man, daring him to continue.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Kind of hard to say anything to him when I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN AN ENTIRE MONTH!"

I don't know why I was so angry. No that's not true. I do know why I was so angry. Before Christine showed up, Erik and I were practically inseparable. Most of my time was spent in his office down below either singing or talking with him when he wasn't checking on the other patients. I ate nearly all my meals down there. There was even a cot set up in the corner of the room where I slept occasionally when he didn't insist I return to my room. This past month has been pure torture and the way Nadir was looking at me made me believe he was very aware what my feelings about the separation were.

Nadir uttered his own sigh and rose from the table.

"I'll see you around, Jessica."

He left the room and I gave an annoyed huff, grabbing my bowl and emptying it down the disposal in the kitchen before placing both bowl and spoon in the dishwasher. Marie-Claire, the cook, gave me a sympathetic smile before turning back to her work of cleaning the counters. No doubt she had heard Nadir and my entire exchange. Great! So basically everyone in this entire freaking place knows about my feelings for Erik except for the man in question! Absolutely freaking awesome! That makes me feel so great! I need to stop. If I keep ranting in here like this I'm never going to cool off. *Sigh* I'll see you around!

-Jessica Snow

**AN: Alright. So here's the next installment. Hope you guys enjoy this so far. Some of these beginning chapters are a little if-y for me. However, I don't want to change anything about them because everything I wrote is important in the long run. Anyway, if you guys could let me know your thoughts on what's happened so far, I would be eternally grateful! Thanks for the support!**


	5. Entry 4: Run in with Pierre

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything phantom related:( Enjoy!**

October 20, 2018

Sorry it's been a couple days since I last wrote. I've been super busy and haven't been able to keep a log of every day that passes. Anyway, there is one thing I want to talk to you about. I had a run in with Pierre yesterday. You have to understand before I continue that Pierre is one of the most dangerous things under this roof. Erik keeps special locks on his door and he's under special treatments that no other patient gets from Erik. I shudder to think what would happen if he and Erik actually got into a fight.

Anyway, I was out back in the garden that's fenced off from the rest of the world and has no gates to get out so the only way to exit is to come back into the building. I was humming softly to myself, still moping about not spending time with Erik when I heard the door open and close as someone joined me. Turning around, my breath caught in my throat as I saw Pierre stalking towards me with this hungry glare in his eyes. Naturally, I began to panic because normally he is padlocked to his bed and the door is locked so he can't go anywhere.

All I could think at that moment was that if Erik wasn't so caught up giving Christine attention, this might not be happening. I slowly started backing up as he continued his advances until my back hit the fence and I was trapped with no where else to go as he stalked up to me.

"Hello, Pretty," he said in that greasy disgusting voice of his.

I shuddered which earned a low chuckle from him which caused me to squirm.

"Where's your dark knight? Shouldn't he be around to save you?" he mocked me.

"Get away from me," I managed to squeak out.

He smirked and got even closer to me causing me to squirm even more. He lifted the chain holding the half mask pendant that was around my neck and pinched it between two fingers.

"Oh, Erik. You might want to come out to the garden before your girl gets hurt," he said into the hidden microphone that was installed into it.

Less than two minutes later, Erik's dark form and white half mask was seen in the doorway. He was behind Pierre, pulling him away from me in a few strides. Within seconds Pierre was on the ground with the punjab around his neck.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't snap your neck right now."

I was immediately hit with a mixture of happiness at hearing Erik's voice for the first time in over a month and fear due to the harsh bite the normally silky tones had to them.

"I don't think I have a reason why you shouldn't. However, I think I do have a reason why you should."

Erik scoffed at that.

"I don't need you to tell me why I should. I have over a hundred reasons already."

"So consider this one the cherry on top of the list of reasons."

"What?"

"If you kill me now, you two can continue to keep the fact that her father is Trevor Snow who is about to be executed for his crimes a secret from everyone else in this insane asylum."

There was a snap as Erik pulled the punjab tight and Pierre's lifeless body slumped forward onto the ground. After the rope was taken off of his neck and inserted safely back into Erik's coat pocket, we locked eyes for the first time in over a month. I was still breathing heavily, my back pressed up against the fence.

"Are you okay?"

"I am now. Thank you."

"I couldn't let him hurt you."

"I know."

We regarded each other then, unsure of what to say to each other. I wanted to yell at him for being so stupid as to neglect me all this time for some nobody who he thought deserved to take lessons from him. I still don't know what he sees in her. Anyway, after a few moments, he turned and headed back inside. He left the door open and I heard him calling for Nadir. The two talked in hushed voices and then Nadir and Dr. Gangle, one of Erik's former patients turned helper, came out and worked on disposing of Pierre's body.

I tucked my necklace back underneath my blouse and followed them inside. I suddenly didn't feel like staying out in the garden by myself anymore. Erik was nowhere to be seen and I bet you anything he had returned to his office to get ready for Christine's lesson last night. I haven't heard her sing, but she can't be that good, right? I mean, she has to have some potential, I'm sure otherwise Erik wouldn't be bothering with her and we would still be having our lessons, but still. What's so special about her?

Today was pretty uneventful. I haven't seen Erik since yesterday with the run in. I still don't know how Pierre got out of his room. I'm sure Erik has looked into it, but I wouldn't know since he's gone back to ignoring me again. Ah well. It's getting late again. I'm going to... I just heard sobbing outside my door. I'm going to investigate and let you know what I find later. For now I'm going to sign off for the night. See you tomorrow, dear journal. This should be interesting.

-Jessica Snow

**AN: Hey, all. I hope you guys are enjoying. Based on the guest review from St. Cyr, I promise all questions will be answered in time. After all, I have written out this entire story. Just wanted to make that clear. Also, I would love to know what you guys thought of this chapter because it happens to be my least favorite one, but like everything else, it's important to the plot. Thanks for the support!**


	6. Entry 5: His Face

**Disclaimer: Nothing Phantom related belongs to me.**

October 21, 2018

I'm sure you're wondering what happened last night after I signed off. Well, let me tell you a little story...

I exited my room to find Christine curled up in a ball with her face buried in her knees sobbing in the hallway outside her door. When she heard me come out, she looked up, startled. I slid down my door until I was sitting across from her with my legs crossed.

"Hello," I greeted.

"H-hi," she hiccuped.

I smiled slightly.

"What's wrong?"

"I c-can't go b-back there. Y-you can't m-make me," she sputtered out through her tears.

"Go back where?"

"W-with _HIM."_

My eyes widened as I realized she was talking about Erik.

"What happened?"

Christine immediately started shaking her head furiously.

"N-no! I c-can't! I d-don't want t-to."

"Christine, I want to help, but I need to know what happened."

"Y-you know m-my name?"

I forced myself not to roll my eyes at the inquiry.

"Everyone knows your name. You signed off your soul so that Erik would heal your father."

I had said it slightly jokingly, but it just set her off on a fresh bout of tears as she buried her face again.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. My name's Jessica, by the way."

She lifted her head again to look at me.

"Jessica?"

I nodded my head.

"Do you want to tell me what happened to get you so upset?"

"I didn't mean to. I wasn't thinking straight. Don't get mad at me."

"Why would I get mad at you?"

"I saw... I saw..."

Her tears started anew and she couldn't finish the sentence.

"You saw what?"

_"His face,"_ she whispered through her tears.

I instantly paled as she buried her face again and sobbed.

"I can't go back there. You can't make me go back," she sobbed into her arms.

"Christine, listen to me. No one is going to make you go back there right now. Can you start at the beginning and tell me how exactly you saw his face?" I inquired.

She took a shaky breath and raised her head once more.

"We... We were having our lesson like normal. I don't know why, but I've been wanting to hear him sing for a while now. I mean, his normal speaking voice is so... so..."

"Beautiful," I whispered.

She nodded her head and continued.

"We had just finished my scales and I asked him if it would be alright if he sang for me. He consented after a little bit of pushing. And, oh his voice. Jessica, his voice!"

"I know," I whispered, nodding my head in agreement of her awe.

"As he sang, I lost my senses. I couldn't think straight. All I knew was that his voice was breathtaking and I was so sick of him always wearing that horrible mask all the time. I mean, who hides their face from everybody at all times?"

I didn't dare answer the question and she pressed on.

"I acted on impulse. My fingers had curled around the edge of the mask before I even knew what I was doing. The moment I screamed, the music stopped and I realized what I had done. I tried to run, but he was too fast. He reached the door before me and locked it. He forced me to finish our lesson and he didn't put the mask back on. He said I wanted to see it, so now I had to live with the consequences. The moment he unlocked the door, I bolted and here we are."

I closed my eyes against the tears that threatened to fall as she sobbed into her arms some more.

"Christine, it's going to be okay. Knowing Erik, and in light of what's happened, he's going to need some time to cool down. During that time, you can rest. Eventually, you will have to go back there. No don't protest, you made a deal so you have to go back down there eventually. However, you don't have to yet. Stay in your room if you like. Recover from this, but the second he's ready, he will call you and you have to go and act like nothing happened."

"Why?"

"Because this is how it works around here. Erik is the boss. What he says is law and you can't change anything. The damage is done and the best thing you can do right now is try to recover and act like it never happened even though it did. Can you do that?"

She swallowed and nodded her head slowly.

"Alright then. It's late and I'm tired. Let's both try and get some rest tonight, shall we?"

She nodded again and we both stood up.

"Thank you, Jessica."

"Of course, Christine. If you ever need to talk, just come and find me. I'll most likely be in here, but if I'm not ask Antoinette or Nadir. They'll usually know where I am."

"Thanks again."

We parted ways and that was the end of that. Now I'm just wondering how long it will take for Erik to come to my room complaining and telling his version of the story. No doubt he'll be here soon. The moment he comes I'll let you know, but for now I'm going to sign off. See you later!

-Jessica Snow

**AN: And there you go! Another chapter. The unmasking... We'll have to see Erik's version of things, huh? I'm going to assume since you guys didn't review last chapter, you guys thought it was okay. Please let me know what you guys think. I'm curious to get your opinions. Stay tuned for more!**


	7. Entry 6: Voice Lesson

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything phantom related... Enjoy!**

October 25, 2018

For several days, there was no sign of Erik. I kept waiting and waiting. Finally, earlier tonight, what I had been expecting for days came storming in through the full length mirror on my wall. He looked disheveled like he hadn't had a restful few days. It's rare for Erik to sleep or eat usually thinking himself above the normal ways humans take care of themselves. However, whereas normally he seems so put together and sure of himself, in that moment he was anything but. I stared at him from my perch on my bed as he breathed heavily, taking me in.

"Come on," he growled at me.

I immediately jumped up and followed him through the mirror, trying to ignore how husky his normally silky voice had become. All I could think of was how mad I was at Christine for what she did even though part of me knew it really wasn't completely her fault. He could have turned down her insistence that he sing. He knows perfectly well the effect his hypnotic voice has on people. He's used it plenty of times on me... When we got to the end of the tunnel, we came out in his office next to his piano at which he immediately sat down in front of.

I came over to his side as he began playing simple scales. I sang along, knowing that this was probably what he needed. He switched to triads and I continued to warm up my voice. From there he plunged straight into one of the arias he'd been working on me before our break. I jumped into it, singing the song furiously, matching his tone as he played through it. Only once he reached the end of the aria did he pause. The moment he stopped playing, I bent over, breathing heavily from the excursion the demanding lesson had put on my voice.

"You've continued to practice," his voice was still husky as he made the statement.

I didn't reply, knowing it wasn't a question but an observation, and continued to catch by breath as I straightened up. He was staring at me, his eyes wide.

"What's this really about, Erik?" I inquired once I could once again breathe properly.

"Whatever do you mean, my dear?"

"Come on, no lessons in over a month and then all of a sudden this spontaneous and strenuous little excursion? What's this about?"

"You talked to her, yes?"

"Yes, I did."

"So you know what this is about. I need a distraction."

"Is that all I am to you? A distraction?"

"NO! Of course not, Jesse!"

"Then what is this?"

"Didn't you want to have another lesson?"

"Of course I wanted another lesson. I didn't want it to be because little Miss Perfect hurt your feelings!"

The fire in Erik's eyes burned bright and he leaped off the bench, pinning me to the wall.

"Little Miss Perfect? Is that what you think of her? Let me make one thing very clear, Snow. _Christine _is far from perfect and her voice is nowhere close to yours. However, I made a deal with her and so I'm teaching her to sing so I can feel like I didn't heal her father for nothing. Do you understand?"

He had hissed her name at me and I lowered my gaze from his searing eyes to look at my feet. I felt his finger slip under my chin as he raised my eyes back up to meet his. Before I could respond, he had leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. My entire being felt ablaze. I leaned in, deepening the kiss and I felt him go rigid for a second, surprised before responding with a desperate need that I understood all too well. All too soon, he pulled out of the lip lock and we stared at each other, both breathing heavily.

"I think that's enough for our lesson today, Jesse."

I didn't wait for another invitation and hurried back through the passage to my room. I can still feel his misshapen lips against mine... I wonder when that will happen again. If that will happen again. It's nearly two in the morning now so I think I'll be done writing for now. I hope I have another voice lesson soon...

-Jessica Snow

**AN: OK. So, what do you guys think. Jessica finally got a lesson with Erik after forever without one. And her first kiss with Erik... Seriously, guys, I want to know your thoughts. Anyway, so guest review from _grandma paula- I'm sorry if the time jump was confusing for you. I promise you, it was necessary and will make a lot more sense in about four more chapters-_I'd also like to make it clear that this story is far from over. Things will just start to tie together in the next few chapters. Also, I've been taking a new approach on writing Hush-A-Bye, My Angel, so keep your eyes peeled, I'll be updating that soon, probably. However, this story is my main priority as of right now. Thanks everyone for your support!**


	8. Entry 7: Nightmare

**Disclaimer: Nothing phantom belongs to me...**

October 31, 2018

It's been a few days. I'm truly sorry I'm not good at consistently writing each day. I'm not sure I even have a good excuse any more. Daddy's execution date has been set. It'll be on November 17. My birthday. How cruel is that? I mean, it's not like they had any idea. As far as anyone knows, he doesn't have any family to miss him. They have a few things wrong that according to the records is correct. The one fact that they have right is the total people he has killed. 12,462 total victims. Everything else isn't accurate. Except of course that Mom died early on.

According to their statistics he hasn't failed once the entire time he's been an assassin. Also, they know at one point he had a wife, but according to them she died early in their marriage leaving him with no children to speak of. That's wrong of course. One failed attempt. One daughter. Of course, technically their reports are correct. Since the deal, Erik made me and the attempt disappear. No one ever found out anything. I might go further into that in another entry. There's actually something else I wanted to tell you about now.

I've started having a recurring nightmare ever since I found out the date of the execution. Each night, when I fall asleep, I see my father bound at gunpoint. I'm frozen in place, unable to speak or go to him and I'm forced to watch as they kill him in front of me. His eyes are wide as he stares at me. I wake up with the gunshot in a cold sweat most nights, shouting the word Daddy into the darkness of my bedroom. And then I cry. I roll over, bury my face in my pillow to muffle to sounds and then just sob until I fall back asleep. The dream only occurs once per night so after I sob myself to sleep I don't have to endure it again.

However, it still is ruining my nights and I think that Nadir, Antoinette and some of the others have started to notice how exhausted I seem during the day. I don't think Erik has noticed yet even though we've had two more lessons since the one I last wrote about. No more kisses though, just in case you were wondering. I've started singing to myself whenever I am wandering around the day. I try to act like nothing's wrong. But at night I can't escape the nightmare. It plagues me. Haunts me at all times. I know it won't happen exactly like that, but that doesn't change anything.

Because of who he is, Daddy's execution will be televised live for anyone and everyone to see. Most likely, everyone will be celebrating the death of Trevor Snow, feared assassin who has taken the lives of so many people. So many people that I'm almost positive most of the people watching will have lost at least one friend or loved one at his hand. Of course everyone will be happy to see him die. One person won't be as happy. One person won't be celebrating even though she should be doing that on her birthday. How can anyone expect me to be happy and celebrate when for my birthday I get to watch my father be executed though?

What kind of a sick, twisted birthday present is that? The past two years, Erik has gotten me one present for my birthday. The first year it was my half mask pendant with the hidden microphone in it. He said it was for emergencies and anytime I called he would come to me. Last year he got me a music box that played one of his compositions. The one he calls Music of the Night. It only plays a section of it since he couldn't fit very many notes. But I love it all the same and still keep it on the nightstand next to my bed.

I don't know what he'll get me this year, and I'm not sure I even want something from him in light of what will most likely overshadow the whole day and make me wish the day wasn't happening in the first place. Maybe the next time I go down for a lesson I'll tell him I don't want anything this year. He'll probably throw a fit and insist that I let him get me something anyway. Or maybe he'll understand? Maybe I just won't bring it up. I mean, he probably already knows how I'm feeling towards the day in question.

I mean, he's the only one in this entire place who knows who my father is. It is kind of strange how that worked out. I really will have to tell you about that day. For now I'm going to attempt to sleep. I probably won't get much since I'll have the nightmare. I'm going to stop writing now. I'll try to write again soon, but I can't make any promises. After all, I seem to not be able to keep a steady writing schedule. Oh, yeah I almost forgot to mention so I'll say it now before I sign off for the night! Happy Halloween!

-Jessica Snow


	9. Entry 8: Christine's Secret

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything phantom...**

November 6, 2018

Hello again. Eleven days. But that's not what I want to talk to you about. No. I'd much rather talk about the interesting little secret I learned about Christine today that she's been hiding from everyone. It came up because I walked into her talking with Nadir.

"I have to get out of here."

"You can't."

"But I can't stay here any longer!"

"You made a deal!"

"I'm taking it back!"

"That's not how it works," I said softly before Nadir could yell at her again.

She whirled around to face me, her eyes wide and brimming with tears.

"I can't stay here," she told me.

"This can't possibly be about what happened, right? You've got to move past that, Christine!"

"What happened?" Nadir inquired, instantly curious.

"N-nothing!" Christine cried, looking back at him.

"Christine, that was 17 days ago. It's been over two weeks. Why can't you just let it go?"

"Because I'm staying under the same roof as a monster and I need to get back to my fiancé!"

"WHAT?!" Nadir and I shouted in unison.

"Monster?" Nadir demanded.

"Fiancé?" I asked her.

Christine swallowed and averted her gaze toward her feet.

"What do you mean monster?" Nadir repeated.

"She saw Erik's face," I told him, waving the question off, "Who's your fiancé?"

"Um... Officer Raoul de Chagny," Christine answered.

"She saw Erik's face?"

"Officer de Chagny?"

Christine nodded in confirmation, partially to Nadir, mostly to me.

"He doesn't know I'm gone. I have to get to his estate before he can."

"Your engaged to the Chief's son. The man who tracked down and brought in Trevor Snow and is the reason why Snow is being executed in eleven days?"

"Yes, and I need to get back to him."

"That's out of the question."

"But-"

"She's right," a velvety voice interrupted.

Erik stepped out of the shadows of the hallway to join us. Immediately, Christine squeaked and tried to hide behind me. I, however, stepped aside so she wasn't blocked from his view and she glared at me. I ignored her, staring instead at Erik.

"You can't leave. You made a deal," Erik continued, speaking to Christine who was still glaring daggers at me.

"But Raoul-" she began, facing him.

"-can survive for a while longer with you gone. You said yourself he doesn't know you're missing," Erik finished the sentence for her.

"But as soon as he does, he'll send out search parties for me. He'll-"

"We'll deal with that as it comes. For now, you stay here."

Christine opened her mouth as if to protest further but thought better of it and shut it again. Nadir used the pause in conversation to try his line of inquiry once more.

"When did Christine see..." he left the question there.

"Over two weeks ago. It's none of your concern, Daroga," Erik tried dismissing him, but he wouldn't have it.

"Why?"

"We were having a lesson. It doesn't matter," Christine interjected quickly.

Nadir opened his mouth to try again and I silenced him quickly.

"Let it go, Nadir. Find me later if it's really important to you, but not now."

Both Erik and Christine glared at me, but I ignored the looks and addressed Erik as if I hadn't just told Nadir that I would tell him what had happened between the pair.

"Are we still on for a lesson tonight?"

Erik nodded once, turned, and left as silently as he had arrived.

"You sing?" Christine asked me.

"Yes. And I only just took up my lessons again after over a month of going without them."

"Over a month? Why did it take so long for you to pick up lessons again?"

"He was busy tutoring you. Since your little slip up, he's decided to pick them up with me once more."

"Slip up?" Nadir inquired.

"It has to do with that thing I'll tell you later, now hush," I told him.

Christine huffed at that and left the room in the opposite direction Erik had gone.

"Now can you tell me?"

"There's not much to tell. They were having a lesson a little over two weeks ago and she asked if he'd sing for her. Foolish man that he is, he agreed and while she she wasn't thinking straight, curiosity took over and she took off his mask. She was forced to finish the lesson and he refused to put the mask back on while they did so. There's really not much else to it."

"Stubborn man."

I rolled my eyes, "Tell me about it."

So that's how I found out that Christine is engaged to Officer de Chagny and Nadir found out about how she saw Erik's face. I don't know how I feel about her engagement. I mean, it shouldn't bother me, but it does. I mean he's the reason my father is going to die in a few days. I don't think I can face her, but at the same time if I start ignoring her because of it, she'll get curious and want answers. Ah, well. I have to get ready for my lesson with Erik so I'll see you later.

-Jessica Snow

**AN: Please let me know what you guys think! Hope you are enjoying. Any questions about Jesse's past should be cleared up in the next few chapters!**


	10. Entry 9: Erik Finds Out

**Disclaimer: Nothing Phantom belongs to me (mostly means characters)...**

November 7, 2018

Hey, look at that. Two days in a row that I've written. Go me! Also ten days... Anyway, last night's lesson was interesting. I arrived at precisely 8 o'clock as usual and, I don't know, maybe I looked more tired than I did the last two lessons, but he immediately started asking me questions.

"How have you been sleeping?"

"Fine, Erik. Are we-"

"How have you really been sleeping?"

"What are you talking about, Erik?"

"You're obviously exhausted. Why is that?"

"It's nothing, Erik, really. Now, are we going to-"

"It's not nothing, and we both know it. So tell me the truth. Why are you exhausted?"

"I'm not exhausted. Now can we please just-"

"You cannot sing properly on little amounts of sleep and you know it so tell me why you look so tired!"

"Because I've been having nightmares about my father's execution every night! Are you happy now?!"

That silenced him briefly, but before I could say anything else, he continued.

"You'll sleep on the cot tonight. No, you can't negotiate. My decision is final. No, we won't be singing tonight. Try and get some rest. I'll be here if you have another nightmare."

After staring at him for a moment, I headed over to the corner and climbed onto my old cot. As soon as I was underneath the covers and my head had hit the pillow, the music started up. Very softly, he played the song from my music box, lulling me to sleep. When the song ended, a few moments before sleep completely overtook me, he switched to a different lullaby that he had written for me a few months back before Christine had arrived. He sang softly along with the notes and I quickly surrendered to the lull of sleep.

* * *

I woke up with a start.

"Daddy!" I cried out.

Immediately, I felt a cold hand on my face as Erik came to my side.

"Hush, Jesse. It's alright. It was just a dream," his velvet tones relaxed me until I lay back against the pillow.

"They're getting worse," I whimpered, shutting my eyes as he stroked my hair out of my face.

"Shh. It's alright, my dear. It'll all be okay now," he continued to assure me, humming my lullaby softly.

"I can't lose him again, Erik. Not again," I told him sleepily as the lullaby continued, lulling me back to sleep.

"I know, love. I know," he purred, continuing the lullaby.

I was already back asleep before I could register what he had said. The next time I woke, it was daytime and I hadn't had another nightmare. I sat up groggily, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Swinging my legs off of the small cot, I stood and stretched before making my way over to the tunnel entrance that was connected to the mirror in my room. This had been the normal routine before Erik started tutoring Christine. When I reached my room I hurried and got dressed and then headed out to get something to eat.

When I glanced at the clock on the stove, the time was nearly 2 in the afternoon. Had Erik really let me sleep in so long?! Shaking my head, I stubbornly still made myself some breakfast- eggs infused with cream cheese, my favorite -and sat down in the dining room to eat. After a few moments, I sensed a familiar presence enter the room and sat across from me.

"I assume you slept well," Erik stated, watching me eat the late meal.

"Why'd you let me sleep until 2?"

"You needed the rest."

"But until 2?"

He shrugged as I finished the last of my eggs. I went and put the plate in the kitchen before joining him back at the table.

"So now you know."

"Did you really expect me not to find out?"

"I don't know. I guess I was hoping it would take you longer. I mean, you didn't notice the last two times I came down for lessons, so I thought..."

"Oh, I noticed. I just didn't comment because I didn't think it was any of my concern. However, last night you didn't seem in any state to be singing."

I scowled at that but didn't reply. When I stifled a yawn he smirked.

"Maybe let you sleep a little longer next time, hm?"

"Erik!"

He chuckled softly and then it was silent.

"I'm going to go read in my room," I announced, standing up.

"Fine. Try to rest a bit while you're at it, won't you?"

"After how long I just slept in? Not a chance!"

So we parted ways. I came back here to my room and he left to do who knows what. After reading for a little bit, I do admit to dozing off a little, but I'll never admit it to Erik. After my short snooze, I brought out my journal and here we are. Now Erik knows about my nightmares. They're getting worse. The execution is in ten days. I'm getting less and less sleep. Oh yeah, and I'm pretty sure Erik called me love last night! I think that's about it for the extent of the update. I don't think I'm leaving anything out...

Oh yeah! I promised to tell you more about the deal my father made, didn't I? Well, I feel like I can't tell you everything right now because I've already been writing for a while, but I'll tell you a little bit. It was nearly three years ago, Christmas eve. My father had received an anonymous call a few weeks prior promising big money if he killed this man by the name of Erik Destler. I did some digging and finally tracked down where Destler was located.

That night, like usual, he hid me in one of the bushes outside where no one would see me before going in. Unlike usual, I followed him at a distance instead of waiting until he got back.

Sorry, someone's knocking at the door so I'll have to finish in the next entry. I promise I'll finish, though. See you later!

-Jessica Snow

**AN: Hey guys! Posting this a little early. Didn't think you guys would mind. I know the few things she says about the night in the prologue is stuff you already know. Calm down, because the next chapter is where you find out more details. Thanks for the support!**


	11. Entry 10: The Deal

**AN: Here y'all go. The answer to what happened the night of Christmas eve. Also, don't own anything phantom!**

November 10, 2018

I'm so so so so sorry. I know I promised to tell you the rest of the story but I'll do it now. Side note: Seven days. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I remember now...

I followed my father at a distance, making sure he wouldn't see me. I wasn't sure what made me follow him. In all the fifteen years of doing this together, I had never once followed him, always staying hidden in the bushes outside while he took out the target and then came back for me and we fled together. For some weird reason, I was drawn to follow this time. Anyway, all the hallways were dark and it was fairly easy to stay hidden as I trailed after my father. Finally he rounded a corner and I heard his footsteps stop.

I paused before also rounding the corner, listening to see if he would continue. That's when I heard them conversing.

"What are you doing here?" a unknown voice said in a velvety tone.

"Looking for you. You're Erik Destler, I presume?"

A silence in which I could only assume the other man, Destler, was nodding in confirmation.

"And you are Trevor Snow, the most feared assassin on this side of the Atlantic," the velvet voice belonging to the target replied.

"That I am. And knowing that, you can probably guess why I'm here," my father continued.

"Ah, yes. You probably think you can kill me."

"Think?"

"How many people do you think have tried what you think you are about to do and have failed?"

"I never fail."

"So I will be your first. How touching."

I didn't realize my feet had moved until I had rounded the corner. I was immediately rooted to the spot. My father's back was toward me and I had a perfect view of the intended target. He was a tall man clad in a tailored black suit. The right side of his face was covered by a white mask and a long black cloak billowed from his broad shoulders. In one hand, he held a long piece of rope with a noose tied at one end. I fought to keep in my gasp, not wanting to alert my father of my presence. However, Destler obviously heard my almost gasp and glanced at me.

His dark eyes burned with a golden flame as he took me in before looking back at my father. My father obviously hadn't noticed the glance and kept his back turned toward me.

"How about we make ourselves a deal?" Destler continued in his velvet tones and I felt my feet move a little closer to the two men.

"What could you possibly give me?"

"You'll walk out of here without killing me, and no one will know you failed or even attempted to try."

"And what do you get in return?"

"You leave her."

My father whirled around. I was rooted in place once more, the force of the three words stopping me in my tracks just a few steps away from my father.

"Jessica, what are you-"

"Daddy, I-"

"Do we have a deal?" Destler asked him, interrupting the moment.

My dad turned back around to face him, his face white.

"Why would I possibly-"

"The other alternative is that I snap both of your necks right now with my punjab," Erik said, "and I'm sure you wouldn't want me to do that."

The rope in question was swinging slightly in his grasp as if to prove his point.

"I-"

"Tick tock," Erik's velvet tones took on a sing-song quality as he stopped the rope's swinging motion.

"Fine!" my father said.

"Daddy!"

Erik smirked as he tucked the punjab away.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Monsieur."

My father turned slowly and knelt before me for a moment, slipping a small box into my hand.

"Merry Christmas, Princess," he murmured.

He stood and walked off, leaving me there with Erik before I could formulate a reply. As his footsteps faded into the distance, I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes. Lifting the lid from the box, I found a necklace inside with a silver crown pendant strung on the chain.

_"Merry Christmas, Princess," _he had murmured.

The tears began to fall as I took out the piece of jewelry and fastened it around my neck. I vowed silently to myself to never take it off ever. Erik had been strangely silent the entire time I did this. The moment I had the necklace in place around my neck, he spoke.

"Come with me."

Almost against my will, my feet began to move to obey the command. In the following weeks I would hate the power his voice held over me, but after a while I would grow to love it. To love him. But that took many months. Erik led me down more dark hallways until we reached a room. He unlocked the door and stood aside for me to enter. The moment I was through the door was shut and locked once more. As soon as I heard his footsteps fade back down the hallway I fell to my knees and let my tears overtake me.

I sobbed for a long time, finally bringing myself to drag my protesting body into the bed next to the wall. I curled up with my back to the wall, but when I saw my reflection in the floor length mirror on the other side of the room, I rolled over and continued to sob until the sweet arms of sleep enveloped me.

* * *

So that's how that night went that my father made the deal with Erik. Obviously, a lot has changed since then. It's hard to describe how giddy Erik was when he first found out I sang. I was despondent and tried to protest lessons, but when I eventually gave in, I was pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed our time rehearsing and welcomed his criticisms, maybe not so much at first, but over time I learned to love it. So now you know how I came to live here. Maybe I'll tell you a few more stories about my first few weeks living here. Like the first time I met Antoinette and Nadir! That was funny.

However, it's getting late and I'm tired so I'll be signing off now. Good night!

-Jessica Snow

**AN: Ten more entries plus the epilogue left! We're getting closer!**


	12. Entry 11: Tomorrow

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything phantom related...**

November 16, 2018

Tomorrow. It's happening tomorrow. I'm numb all over. I've continued sleeping on the cot in the corner of Erik's office. The nightmare has escalated. It's gotten to the point where I'm scared to even close my eyes for fear of seeing my father being killed in front of me. Erik, being the dear that he is, has played me lullabies every night to help me fall asleep. And then some more when I wake from the nightmare. He hates seeing me like this, I can tell from the way he looks at me during the day. I rarely leave his office any more.

The only times I ever do is to change or go to the bathroom. He brings me my meals when it's time to eat. I barely eat anything. I wouldn't even bother to touch the food, but Erik won't leave me alone until I do and even when I did, I could tell he was upset by how little it was. I've never seen him worry over me this much before in the entire three years I've lived here. Part of me loves it, but another part of me feels bad for neglecting my basic needs like sleeping and eating. Anyway, I'm probably not going to sleep at all tonight.

TOMORROW! I can't even... Oh wait a moment. I think Erik is coming down with some lunch. I'll be right back.

* * *

Sorry, it's been a few hours. Erik wanted to try and have a lesson with me, but it didn't go too well. My heart wasn't really in it. Anyway, I just finished getting ready for bed and now I'm sitting on my cot waiting for Erik. I don't want tomorrow to come. Maybe if I don't go to sleep, tomorrow won't come? I know that sounds super childish of me, but a girl can dream can't she? Maybe telling you another story will help distract me...

So about two weeks after my father made the deal and I was left behind with Erik, I had the pleasure of meeting Antoinette and Nadir. Erik had given them the holiday off so they weren't around when I got there. Anyway, I was bored and decided to venture out of my room. I should probably mention that my door has stayed locked since that first night when Erik put me in there. One of the tricks my father taught me was how to getting through a locked door without making it look like the lock was picked. Erik is still angry he hasn't figured out how I do it and I refuse to tell him.

So when I ventured out and headed into the commons area, I found both Antoinette and Nadir deep in conversation at one of the tables. You have to understand, this was the first time in the two weeks that I had seen anyone besides Erik and I was super excited. Antoinette saw me first.

"Hello, there. You must be Jessica. My name is Antoinette Giry, this is Nadir Khan," she greeted me.

"Hi," I replied sheepishly as I approached their table.

"We'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind," Nadir said as I sat down.

"What kind of of questions?"

"We'd just like to get to know you better," Antoinette said quickly.

"Ookay?" I said slowly.

Antoinette gave Nadir a pointed look and he took a deep breath before starting the line of inquiry.

"How old are you, Jessica?"

"17 as of last month."

Antoinette swallowed as Nadir moved on.

"We understand that your father is the one that made whatever the deal was that left you here. Have you two ever been separated for long before?"

"No," I replied, noticing how Antoinette visibly paled.

"What's your last name?"

Before I could answer, a presence filled the room and I felt someone grab onto the back of the chair I was sitting in.

"I believe Jessica has heard enough of your questions for the day, Daroga," Erik snapped, his velvet voice icy.

I shuddered slightly at his tone and he ignored me. Both Nadir and Antoinette stood at that moment and left the room.

"How did you get out of your room?" Erik inquired.

"I just turned the handle and left it," I replied, knowing it wasn't that easy really.

"Your door is still locked and the lock itself hasn't been tampered with so I ask you again, how did you get out of your room?"

"I just turned the handle and left it," I repeated.

"Show me," he said.

I stood and we walked to my room. The door was shut and, as Erik mentioned, still locked. He gestured for me to demonstrate and I approached the door. Making sure he was paying close attention, I turned the handle slightly and a moment later the door swung open on its hinges. I then closed the door without entering the room and gestured for him to try. He reached for the handle and turned. It was locked and it didn't look like it had been messed with.

"How did you do that?" he demanded.

"A magician never reveals her secrets," I said, shrugging.

Erik stared at me dumbfounded as I reached over and opened the door once more and entered the room.

"See you around, Erik," I told him before shutting the door.

As soon as the door was shut, I heard him try the handle. It was still locked and I knew he wouldn't figure out my little trick. Thanks Dad! He asked me to show him a few more times and the result was the same each time. Eventually, we came to a mutual agreement that my door would always stay locked and I was allowed to come and go from it as I pleased and receive or deny anyone as I pleased as well. Erik got rid of the key to my door soon after we came to our agreement. Later, after the lessons had started up and I had started warming up to him, he showed me the tunnel behind my mirror that led to his office.

Again we came to a mutual agreement that it would only be used in emergencies, whether me coming to him or vice versa. That one's become a little looser than with my door, but I don't think either of us care much. Anyway, that's how my first meeting with Nadir and Antoinette went. I just realized I haven't written as much about Antoinette as I have about Nadir. I'll have to give you more updates on her. Anyway, I think Erik will be here soon so I think I'll be done writing for the night. Now I just have to convince him to let me stay up later than usual. That should be tricky, considering how he's been treating me lately. Wish me luck!

-Jessica Snow


	13. Entry 12: Happy Birthday to Me

**Disclaimer: Nothing Phantom belongs to me.**

November 17, 2018

Happy birthday to me. Except not really! I told myself not to fall asleep. I argued with Erik to let me stay up. Eventually, he gave in but I think only because he knew how tired I was and that I would never be able to stay awake that long. GACK! I think I'm just going to stay in my room or Erik's office all day again and pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening today. It's not my birthday. My father isn't being executed. Everything is just fine. Completely and totally fine!

Oh, who am I kidding? I can pretend all I want, that doesn't change what day it is. Doesn't change the fact that it is my birthday and for my birthday I get to watch my father's execution live on T.V. Happy. Freaking. Birthday. To. Me. Erik let me sleep in until 10. It is now noon. One hour until my father's execution is broadcast for everyone to see. Hooray. I can't freaking wait. The world will finally be rid of the great and terrible Trevor Snow, expert assassin. This is super exciting for everyone and no one should be upset that he'll no longer be alive anymore to wreck havoc on the world.

Do I sound convincing enough? No? Well it sounded sarcastic in my head as I wrote it so I'm not that surprised. Maybe it's because I didn't use enough exclamation points. Let me try that last part again using those. Hooray! I can't freaking wait! The world will finally be rid of the great and terrible Trevor Snow, expert assassin! This is super exciting for everyone and no one should be upset that he'll no longer be alive anymore to wreck havoc on the world! Nope. That just sounds worse in my head as I'm writing it. *Sigh*

I can hear Erik coming so I'll have to return in just a little while. Stay tuned. I will have updates.

* * *

I'm sorry if my hand is shaking so you can't read this. Or if my tears blur the writing a bit. I just got back from watching my father's execution. I didn't see them actually, you know, kill him because I was too busy sobbing into Erik. I should probably just tell you about what happened. The broadcast started at one o'clock in the afternoon. Everyone gathered in the common area to watch. I was one of the last people to show up so instead of taking a seat I got to stand near the doorway which suited me just fine. I could make a speedy exit if things got too much for me.

Erik came in and stood behind me shortly after. I kept it together until they had my father say his last words.

"Happy birthday, Princess. I miss you so much and I love you, baby girl. Destler, help her. She's going to need someone to lean on when this is over."

I didn't hear anything else because I had turned and buried my face into Erik's chest, sobbing. Just a few words spoken by my father and I was undone. I had gone so long without seeing him or hearing his voice, finding out about his targets through the news. Erik held me in his arms for a long time. I didn't care that everyone could see me. After what seemed like hours, Erik lifted me into his arms bridal style. He carried me down to his office and layed me down on my cot which I haven't moved from since.

I think I'll stop writing now. My hands are shaking too much for this to be any way coherent. Sorry about that. I think I'll rest now. Yeah. Rest.

-Jessica Snow

**AN: Sorry, this is a bit late. I was busy this morning, but hey! At least I still got it up on release day!**


	14. Entry 13: Search Party

November 26, 2018

I'm up. After nine days of lying on that cot, I finally decided to do something productive. Although I don't think you can really call sitting on the couch in the common area and reading a book productive... Ah well, it's not laying around moping on a cot all day so I guess that's something, right? Sorry last time I wrote was kind of short. Understandably, I didn't really feel like writing very much, and I don't think it was very coherent anyway, so there's always that excuse as well. Christine and Erik have been in a verbal sparring match for a couple days now, which I should probably explain.

About maybe the fifth day after the incident, I got word that there had been an announcement on the news by Officer de Chagny. Apparently a large search party had been sent out and was scouring the city to try and find where his fiancée had disappeared to. Erik was furious, not so much at the fact that there was a search party out but that as soon as Christine heard, she started demanding that he let her leave. His argument is that she made a deal and therefore cannot leave until he says she can. Naturally that makes her retaliate by saying he had said himself that she would be set free before Raoul even found out she was missing.

So that's the latest happenings around here. Right now they're at kind of a stalemate and both refuse to talk to the other. Honestly, I don't know why Erik's making such a big deal about this. The sooner he lets her go, the more likely this place won't be discovered by unwanted outsiders. However, I also understand where he's coming from. I mean, now that Christine has stayed here so long, he can't really let her go with the guarantee that she won't turn around and betray us by telling everyone about this place.

Well, anyway, I think that's about it for that. I feel like I owe you a little more considering how long the last entry was... Maybe another story about my early days here? Oh, hold up. I think Nadir is calling me, I'll be right back.

* * *

Hey, I'm back. Nadir just wanted to talk to me about what happened on my birthday. Antoinette showed up during the conversation and wanted to know some information, too. I told them the truth. I mean, I think that Nadir had already kind of figured it out, he just wanted a confirmation that he was correct. I explained that, yes, Trevor Snow was my father and yes, Erik didn't tell anyone on purpose. I think the only reason why Erik didn't want anyone to know was because he thought I would be treated differently because of it.

Which I suppose makes some since, all things considered. I mean, I know I would definitely treat someone differently if I knew that they were the child of one of the most feared assassins in the world. When I was done having that conversation, I made to come back to the common area to write some more, but was stopped by Christine. She had been eavesdropping on our conversation and had a few more questions for me than Antoinette and Nadir did. I recounted some parts that she didn't hear when listening in and then at her request I told her about how the deal came about. All stuff I've already told to you.

Anyway, we had made our way to the common area as we talked and the television was on. Some of the patients had gathered to watch the news and we decided to stay and watch with. Officer de Chagny was on the screen making another announcement about the progress of the search party. Apparently, a small group of four men hadn't shown up at the meeting to discuss progress and they were suspicious of what that might mean. They knew what area the men were supposed to be investigating and would be focusing on that section of the city.

They couldn't give much detail besides that, but when they found out something more concrete, he promised that they would update everyone. They switched to a commercial break at that point. Beside me, Christine was fuming. Before anyone else noticed, I dragged her from the room and in the direction of our bedrooms. Turning the knob on my door, I dragged her in. I put my cover on the mirror and then sat on my bed, having her sit in the chair from my desk. I let her cool down a bit before attempting to engage her in conversation.

"You feeling okay?" I inquired.

She shrugged, biting the inside of her cheek and crossing her arms over her chest. Her right leg was crossed over her left and she wouldn't look directly at me. I sighed before continuing.

"Christine, I know this is hard for you. It's hard for everyone but you have to understand why Erik is refusing to let you go."

"I made a deal. He's made that abundantly clear that that is why he hasn't let me go."

"That's part of it, yes. Do you want to know the other part?"

She finally made contact with me, biting her lip before nodding.

"Erik will do literally anything to keep everyone living under this roof safe, and I don't mean that lightly. With the search party out, his natural instinct is to keep everyone in his care together so he knows where everyone is at all times. I think part of him would love to let you go so that the search party doesn't find this place and endanger the safety and security he's created for us here.

"HOWEVER," I continued, seeing her about to protest, "I also think part of him is scared that if he gives in and lets you go then you'll abuse it and betray us all by telling the authorities where you've been for the past couple months. And that cannot happen under any circumstances. Now, I'm not saying that I think you would ever do such a thing, don't get me wrong, but with the way Erik's brain works, he cannot let himself take that risk. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I think so. But Jessica, why would I ever-"

"I know. I don't think you would betray us like that, but as I said, I don't think Erik can force himself to take that risk of you doing that. After all, you do have to tell people where you've been and he isn't so sure that you'll be able to make up a believable story that everyone will just accept."

"But I could. I could just tell them I took a vacation and forgot to contact anyone first, or...or... That doesn't sound very convincing does it?"

"No, not yet, but I think we could work with that and create something believable. Once we do, we can propose the idea to Erik and see what he says. For now, you just have to sit tight and wait."

Christine gave a huff, but nodded assent.

"Okay," I said, standing up.

I walked over and opened my door to let her out. I followed her, closing my door behind me. We parted ways, her going to the kitchen to find something to eat and me coming to the common area to pick up my book and writing stuff. So now I get to work with Christine on a convincing enough story that everyone will believe about where she's been. Luckily they don't know how long she's been gone, so we don't have to come up with over two month's worth of time, but also something that would take up time and cause her not to alert anyone to her absence. This should be interesting.

Look at that, I did give you a longer entry after all! I will have to tell you another story about my early days here, though so don't let me forget! Now that I'm up and actually doing things, Erik wants to have another lesson so I'm going to have to sign off now so I can prepare for that. See you later!

-Jessica Snow

**AN: Hey guys. Thanks for all the support that I've received on this story so far. It means so much to me that people are still reading this. I'm going to try my best to keep up with my updating schedule, but the next few weeks might be a little rough because I'm preparing to take finals and classes are on crunch time right now. Thanks in advance for your patience. Hopefully it shouldn't be a big deal and I'll find time on Tuesdays and Thursdays to keep updating. PLEASE keep letting me know what you guys think. I enjoy the feedback!**


	15. Entry 14: Alibi

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Phantom related :(**

November 28, 2018

Christine and I have been working on her alibi/excuse for her disappearance. We have a few of the basics down, though we still have to figure some of the details out.

We decided that about a week before they announced the execution date for the Snow Case, Christine got bored. Her fiancé was super busy with said case and she didn't really get to see him as often as she'd have liked to. Because of how busy he had been, she didn't think she would be able to talk to him so she didn't bother trying. She packed up a small suitcase and decided to take a little vacation by herself.

We haven't decided anything else. It's not much, but it's a start and somewhat believable. It makes sense to some degree. I mean, of course she would get bored without anyone to keep her company. I just realized I didn't mention, but Christine's father died shortly after they parted ways back at the end of September. I guess it just wasn't relevant to anything going on so I didn't think to bring it up in here. Anyway, with her father dead and her fiancé busy, it makes sense that she would take a little vacation by herself, right?

And then, when she gets word that they've sent out a giant search party looking for her, she ventured back as soon and as fast as she could. The question is now, where did she go on this little excursion by herself? Maybe we'll present what we have so far to Erik and ask for his input on the situation. Or just I could if Christine doesn't want to talk to him right now. Maybe I'll do that now... Yeah. I'll be right back.

* * *

I will say this. He was actually pretty open to the idea. He liked what we have so far and did have a little input. While he didn't give any suggestions about specific places, he said that we'd have to figure out somewhere that is close, but far enough away that she'd have to be traveling for a while to get back. That way, when she shows up, the amount of time that has passed is all accounted for traveling wise. It's been six days since they first announced the search party and it'll probably be a few more before we have all the kinks of her alibi worked out.

So wherever we have her "go" it has to be at least a week's journey to and from there. I'll have to ask Christine later to see if she has any suggestions as to where she thinks would be a believable location. We'll have to see... I feel like it shouldn't be this easy for me to come up with a fake story about where Christine has been, but you know, when you grow up the child of an assassin you pick things up. We had to make up stories all the time whenever we were traveling. My father would always have to make up a new identity for himself and make up new looks.

I could always go by Jessica no matter where we were, my last name just changed depending on what my father was going by at the time. He would make up stories all the time for us and I guess after a while I just caught on and started being able to do the same. Sometimes he would have me give input and make up parts of our story, too. The context of this situation might be a little different, but it's the same basic principle. We just are trying to fool a lot more people than my father and I were back then.

Back then it was usually just some hotel staff so we would have a place to stay for the night. When I was younger, before I understood exactly why we were traveling all the time, I loved those nights spent in hotel rooms. I remember when I was maybe four or five and all I wanted to watch whenever we stayed somewhere with a T.V. was Disney's Enchanted. My favorite scene was the ball. During that scene, my dad would put me on his toes and waltz with me around the room. And then when it got to the instrumental in the middle, he would toss me up in the air and fling me around, finally throwing me on the bed to watch the rest of the movie.

Those first few days after my birthday, I listened to that song, So Close, on repeat for hours before Erik finally took away my ipod and earbuds. He said something about torturing myself by listening to stuff like that, but I didn't really want to listen to him at that point. He gave them back to me last night during my lesson after I promised I wouldn't "torture" myself with the music any more. I've gone off on a tangent now, but whatever. I like telling you about my past with my dad. The other song I found that I listened to non stop before Erik took away my music was the song I Miss You from Hannah Montana.

That was the other thing I wanted to watch non stop when I was little. I've since grown out of it, but the song seemed fitting considering what had occurred. Anyway, Christine and I should probably go over some more details about her alibi tonight. We want this to be perfect if anyone's going to buy it. After all, we don't want this place to be discovered and the more believable Christine's story is, the less likely that will happen. I should probably go do that now so that we don't have to work on it as long tomorrow.

Hold on, I just heard yelling outside my room that sounds a lot like Nadir and Erik. I'm going to go check that out and then find Christine to go over those details. I'll try and update you when I find out what's going on. See you later!

-Jessica Snow

**AN: Hey guys! So we're getting down to it. There are less than 10 chapters left including the epilogue and I'm getting excited. Thanks for the support in reading and please leave your thoughts so I can read them!**


	16. Entry 15: Too Late

**Disclaimer: Nothing Phantom belongs to me.**

November 29, 2018

Hello again. I think I owe you something after how I signed off yesterday. Well...

I left my room, following the sound of the yelling. It led me to the common area where Erik and Nadir were shouting at each other. Antoinette was also there, trying unsuccessfully to calm the men down.

"Why must you insist on this course of action every time something like this occurs?!" Nadir shouted.

"What am I supposed to do? If I let them live they'll tell everyone about this place and then where would we be?!" Erik countered.

"There are other ways of keeping people quiet that don't involve snapping their necks!"

"I don't see you offering other alternatives!"

"What's going on here?" I asked softly.

Both men immediately turned at the sound of my voice and I saw some of the tension melt away from Erik's features, although Nadir still seemed on edge.

"What's going on here?" I repeated.

"He killed them. All six of them," Nadir muttered.

"Added to the four from a few days ago makes ten," Erik added, sounding smugger than was strictly necessary.

I rolled my eyes at that.

"Killed who?" I inquired.

"Oh, just some members of the search party that's out looking for Christine," Nadir said sarcastically.

My jaw dropped open, but I immediately felt the corners of my mouth turn up in a slight smile.

"Seriously?" I asked, trying to wipe the smile from my face unsuccessfully.

Erik's exposed section of his mouth turned up slightly for a moment in a quick smile at my slip before nodding. I took a deep breath, effectively getting rid of my smile before speaking again.

"You realize that if you do that, then they are more likely to keep coming," I pointed out, "and then there's no point in coming up with an excuse for Christine's absence."

"Excuse?" Antoinette interjected.

"Christine and I have been trying to come up with a story to explain why she vanished without a trace, but that won't matter if they find her here," I explained.

"They won't find her here," Erik stated.

"They will if you keep killing their men. They're going to get curious and come to investigate and you can't just kill them every time they do," I countered.

"What's going to stop me?"

"Do you want us to stay safe here?"

"What do you think I'm doing?"

"Endangering us because you've killed ten of the men out looking for Christine!"

"What?" a different voice inquired.

I whirled around to see Christine standing in the doorway. I heard Nadir groan behind me and shot him a glare over my shoulder.

"What do you mean he's killed ten of the men out looking for me?"

"Exactly what that sounds like," Erik muttered, earning him a glare from me over my shoulder.

"Christine-" I started, but she was already gone.

I watched her dart away, running back in the direction of her room before turning to face the others.

"Nice going, genius," I said sarcastically.

I then turned and headed after Christine to try and explain what had happened. Heading in the direction of our rooms, I found her sitting against her door in the hallway, hugging her knees to her chest. I sat down across from her, leaning against my own door and crossed my legs much like I did the night she told me she had seen Erik's face.

"He didn't really, did he? You weren't serious when you said that, right?" she asked me.

"No, um... he really did, um..." I took a deep breath through my nose, thinking about what I could say.

"How could he do that? How does anyone do that?"

"People do some crazy things to protect the ones they care about," I replied.

"But why resort to killing? I mean those people have lives, families..."

"When you're only thinking about keeping your loved ones safe, you don't really consider those things in the moment."

"But why?"

"Gosh, Christine. I don't know. You get to a point where all you are thinking about is you and the people you care about and you don't really think about the consequences of certain actions until long after the fact."

"Is that how you justify it?"

"That's how it works. I know because I literally grew up that way. My father didn't think about anything except how to make sure I got food in my stomach and clothes on my back. If we could manage to sleep in a hotel instead of out under the stars, then great! He'd make sure that happened, too. Most of the time, that's how it works. Yeah, every once in a while you might get some deranged lunatic who does it just for sport because they aren't thinking correctly, but MOST OF THE TIME, the only reason why people do something like that is because they're trying to protect the people they care about."

I took a deep breath, pausing my little rant and just taking a moment to let Christine take in everything I had just said. I was aware of Erik's presence coming from a little ways down the hallway, but refused to acknowledge it due to Christine's lack of noticing him.

"But Erik-" she began.

"-does nothing unless it would keep everyone under this roof safe. He doesn't go making rash decisions. If he thinks something would endanger the lives of anyone here, he wouldn't do it."

"How can you be so sure?"

I glanced down at my hands clasped in my lap, refusing to meet her gaze.

"How can you have so much trust in a murderer?" she persisted.

"BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!"

It got really quiet then. I felt my cheeks burn, but still refused to lift my gaze. I was hyper aware of Erik still standing there but refused to acknowledge that either. Finally, Christine spoke.

"You what?"

"I love him," I repeated softly, almost too quiet for her to hear but knowing full well that Erik's sensitive hearing would pick it up loud and clear. "I love him and I'm too afraid to admit it out loud to him. I almost couldn't admit it to myself aloud."

I finally looked up to see Christine shaking her head adamantly.

"But he's a murderer...and his face-"

"It doesn't bother me. And my FATHER was an employed assassin, so why on earth would it matter to me that he's done the same thing?"

"You're insane."

"Possibly. I've been living here long enough and spent enough time with him that it's very possible he's rubbed off on me."

"I still don't understand."

"I don't expect you to."

We both fell silent then and I dared to glance down the hallway in the direction I felt Erik's presence coming from. He stood there, a dark silhouette against the bright light of the hallway behind him, staring at me with his head cocked to the side as if surprised. Christine turned her head to see what I was looking at and gave a little squeak, trying to ball herself up even further.

"Anyway, because of what he's done, I don't think there's any point in continuing to come up with your cover story. If that's going to continue, then they'll find you here sooner rather than later and then it won't matter if we have the perfect cover story or not," I continued.

"But we could still do it. We could still follow through with that plan," she insisted.

"No we can't. With ten men dead already? It's too late."

* * *

So that's what went down yesterday. I admitted for the first time out loud my feelings for Erik and he overheard. I haven't talked to him about it since. We'll have to see. I realized it would have been super dramatic to just leave my entry at where I spoke the words 'it's too late' but I felt like I needed to wrap up the entry a bit more. I might have to leave a super dramatic ending one of these days. I guess next you'll want to hear about if and when I talk to Erik again since he overheard and we haven't talked since then. I suppose I could do that in the next entry if I've talked to him by then.

Anyway, I think I'll be signing off now because it's getting late. Good night!

-Jessica Snow

**AN: Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the next installment. It's getting intense. We're getting down to it (5 more entries and an epilogue)! Thanks for the support!**


	17. Entry 16: Officer Raoul de Chagny

**Disclaimer: Nothing Phantom belongs to me...**

**AN: I would also like to mention now so I don't have to write anything at the end of this, this is my favorite chapter and was the funnest one to write. Enjoy!**

November 30, 2018

You'll never guess what happened today! Erik and I were having a lesson just after lunch when we became aware of a disturbance in a different area of the building. I followed him to the entrance where my father and I came in three years ago. Standing just inside the doorway was a group of men, obviously from the search party out trying to find Christine. Standing in front of the group of maybe a dozen men was none other than Officer Raoul de Chagny himself. I think I might of gasped slightly and Erik stepped in front of me to shield me from the group.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"We recently lost six men in this area and a few weeks ago we lost four others also in this area," Officer de Chagny replied. "We just came to find out if you knew anything that might help."

"You have no business here. Get out," Erik told him.

By then a group of people had gathered behind Erik and I. Nadir and Antoinette stood in front, closest to us. I glanced through the crowd, but didn't see Christine just yet. I just hoped she wouldn't show up despite what was happening. I turned back around as Officer de Chagny laughed slightly.

"Really, we want no trouble. Just to know if you know anything concerning my missing fiancée."

"I said get out. I won't repeat myself again," Erik said, pulling the punjab from out of his inside pocket.

Before the officers could react or give a reply, a familiar voice rang out, making me groan internally.

"Raoul? Is that you?"

"Christine?" Raoul replied.

He tried to make his way forward, but Erik stopped him with a warning growl in the back of his throat, making the punjab swing threateningly. I glanced over my shoulder to see Christine shoving her way to the front of the group. When she reached where Nadir and Antoinette were, they each put a hand out, stopping her from going any farther. She struggled, trying to get past, but they held firm and she stopped after a moment, just standing there, staring at her fiancé. I turned my gaze back toward the men just in time to see Erik throw the punjab around the first man's neck and yank.

The officer crumpled to the ground and I heard Christine yelp behind us. The rest of the officers drew their weapons and pointed them at Erik.

"Really, we don't want any trouble. Just hand over Christine and we will leave," Officer de Chagny addressed Erik.

"If you didn't want any trouble then you shouldn't have come here," Erik answered coldly.

"Raoul, go! Get out of here! Leave mmf-"

The end of Christine's statement was muffled as Nadir put a hand over her mouth.

"Please, just hand her over. Nobody else has to get hurt," Raoul continued.

"If you don't leave now, I won't hesitate to do it again," Erik countered.

I heard Christine's muffled cries as Nadir and Antoinette continued to restrain her.

"Let her go!" de Chagny cried.

"Get out!" Erik shouted back, capturing a second officer in the punjab and pulling.

The officer sank to the floor beside the first as his neck snapped as well. There was a blur of commotion then, as our group started to leave quickly to escape what was happening next. Nadir and Antoinette continued to restrain a fighting Christine and Erik continued to kill off the group of officers until all that remained was Officer de Chagny. Finally, all that remained in the room were Nadir, Antoinette, Christine, me, Erik and the last remaining officer. Christine had tears running down her cheeks and she had stopped fighting the pair that was still restraining her from going to Raoul.

I continued to stay quiet, still stationed behind Erik as he blocked me from the offending group of officers that had dropped from over a dozen to only one in moments. The two men regarded each other stoically for a long while, the room deadly silent, the only sound Christine's muffled sobs.

"Why can't you just hand her over?"

"She made a deal with me. She can't leave until I decide to let her."

"What sort of deal?"

"I healed her sick father months ago and in return she stayed here and worked on her singing with me."

"Please. I'll do anything if you just let her go."

"Your hand at the level of your eyes, Monsieur."

"What?"

"Keep your hand at the level of your eyes," Erik repeated before tossing the punjab around his neck.

Christine gave a muffled shriek as he clawed at his neck with both hands. Before I could register what I was doing, I stepped forward slightly and put a hand on Erik's arm. He looked over at me and we stared into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. Finally, the rope around the police chief's son's neck went slack and the officer slumped to the floor in a heap, coughing and spluttering to get air back into his lungs. Erik kept his eyes on me as he spoke his next words to the young officer on the ground.

"Take her. Never speak of this place and never return," he said softly.

Nadir and Antoinette let go of Christine and she rushed over to him, still sobbing as they embraced each other.

"GO!" Erik yelled and the pair jumped up, hurrying out the open door.

Nadir walked over and shut it behind them, locking it for good measure. Erik turned back to face me, his eyes questioning.

"Why did you stop me?"

"As much as I would have loved to see him die after what he did to my father, I couldn't let you do it. I don't think Christine would have ever forgiven you and I don't think you could have lived with the guilt."

Nadir and Antoinette left to check on the other patients then so we were alone.

"Did you mean what you told Christine the other day? About loving me?"

"Every word."

He reached up and removed his mask slowly, watching my face the entire time.

"Even the part about this?"

"It really doesn't bother me, Erik. I love you just the way you are."

He leaned down and we shared the first kiss since we started our lessons back up after Christine unmasked him what seemed like an eternity ago.

-Jessica Snow


	18. Entry 17: Holly and Mistletoe

**AN: Sorry in advance for the short chapter. 3 more entries and an epilogue!**

December 3, 2018

We've started decorating for Christmas! I love this time of year. Ever since I was a little girl I've loved it. Once I got past the fact that Christmas eve also marked the anniversary of the deal, I began to love it just the same as always, if not more. I know this year will be different because I've let Erik know how I feel about him to his face. We always have a giant Christmas tree in the corner of the common area and everyone gets to help decorate it if they want. They put a wreath on every door in the entire place which, let me tell you, putting up that many wreaths is a pain! I feel bad for Nadir who has to do it each year. There are at least a hundred doors in this place!

Normally, that's the full extent of the Christmas decorations with the exception of the lights strung around the perimeter of the common area. That's my favorite room at this time of year and I think I spend more time in there than in any other room in the asylum. This year, however, I found out that Erik put up one more decoration located in his office. I found out about it when I went down for a lesson on December 1st. Another thing I love about this time of year is that Erik lets me work on Christmas songs instead of our usual arias.

My favorite song to sing is Grownup Christmas List with The Christmas Song as a close second. I'm humming both non stop every day. Anyway, I came down after getting dressed in a slightly more festive outfit to find Erik sitting at the piano already playing Grownup Christmas List. I noticed his little extra decoration hanging from the ceiling above where I was supposed to stand, but didn't say anything about it. Walking over to my spot, I hummed the tune he was playing for a moment and he stopped playing.

"Are you ready?" he inquired.

"Don't you want to do something first?" I shot back.

I saw the corner of his mouth curl upward slightly as he turned to face me.

"Oh, yes. I believe you are standing underneath the holly and mistletoe, my dear."

"Oh really? I didn't notice it when-"

I was interrupted by his lips crashing against mine. I closed my eyes and too soon felt him pull away.

"Now then, shall we begin?"

I nodded my head, licking my lips as he played the first few measures to Grownup Christmas List. After we sang through the entire song, he switched and played the beginning measures of The Christmas Song. We sang through a few other Christmas tunes after that before he called it a night. Yesterday when I came down for another session, the holly and mistletoe was still up and we repeated the beginning exchange before singing some more. I think Nadir went down yesterday afternoon, but he didn't say anything about the new decoration that hasn't been there the past two years.

I don't think anyone around here makes as much of a big deal about Christmas as I do. The only reason why we've decorated the past few years is because Erik found out how much I love the holiday and he wanted to make me feel at home despite the fact that the holiday also means one more year has passed since the deal was made. The first year that Christmas rolled around, one year after the deal, Erik bought all the decorations and that was pretty much my present for that year even though I didn't feel much like celebrating.

Last year for Christmas he got me new snow boots so I could go out into the garden and play in the snow during the winter. I don't know what he'll do this year with everything that's been happening over the past few months. I feel like I need to do something for him, though I know me admitting to him that I love him is probably the only present he wants and I bet if I asked him if he wants anything he'll tell me that the knowledge that I love him is the only present he needs or something to that effect.

We'll just have to see what happens this year. Sorry the entry is a bit short this time around, I promise I'll try to write more next time. There just wasn't a lot I wanted to talk about this time around. It really is getting kind of late at this point and I should start getting ready for bed. I'll see you around!

-Jessica Snow


	19. Entry 18: A Christmas Surprise

**AN: Hey guys! I just want to thank you all for getting this story to over 1000 views. It means so much to me. The last few chapters are all relatively short so I apologize in advance. Thanks again and enjoy!**

December 5, 2018

Hello again. I've been working on a present for Erik. I asked Antoinette and Nadir to help me with it. Antoinette and I went into town yesterday to buy some supplies so I could work on it. Now Nadir just has to distract Erik for a few hours so I can get into his office without him getting too suspicious. I just hope he'll like what I have in mind. I've had this tune stuck in my head for a while now, I just need to put it to paper and come up with the appropriate lyrics. Nadir figured out a way to occupy Erik for three hours, which should be plenty of time to work.

As soon as he drew Erik out of his office, I slipped in and sat down at the piano with the lined staff paper I had bought to use. I worked tirelessly for the first two hours, managing to get everything except lyrics written down on the pages. I gathered my stuff together and slipped into the tunnel to go to my room. Once there, I put the cover over my mirror and then went back to work. I had the desired lyrics rolling around in my head, and scrawled them down in between the lines of staff paper underneath the corresponding notes.

I'm excited to give him his present. I don't know how he'll react especially considering the lyrics I've chosen to use with the tune. After about an hour of working on lyrics, I got my laptop out and ran the composition program I installed a few months ago. I pulled over the sketchy, barely readable composition I had just worked on and began to input it on the program. It took another three hours to upload everything and get it saved. I didn't dare print it out just yet for fear that someone would see it before I got to the printer.

I'm still not sure what Erik is doing for me this year. I'm curious what he and Nadir did that took so long. I might have to ask Nadir about it later. Anyway, that pretty much took up my entire day. I have a lesson with Erik later tonight. I think before I get ready, I will print out my song now. I grabbed my laptop and headed out to the common area where the printer sat in one corner. I sent the document to the printer and glanced up at the television. To my surprise, I was met with the sight of Christine standing next to a very tired looking Raoul.

I listened as they rattled off the story Christine and I had been developing with a few details we hadn't gotten to yet mixed in. Obviously, it was only for the purpose of satisfying the press who had been keeping tabs on the whole "missing fiancée" case the past couple of weeks. A beeping sound alerted me that the music was done printing. I grabbed it before anyone saw and hurried out of the room. In the hall, I ran into Erik and quickly hid the papers before he could get a good look and spoil my surprise. He saw the action and raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment.

"And what have you been up to today?" he inquired.

"Nothing much. And you?"

"Pretty much the same."

We were both lying and both of us knew it. I glanced back at the common area before looking back at Erik.

"Christine and Officer de Chagny were on the news just now. Tying up the whole mess with her missing, I suppose."

"Oh?"

"Mm-hm," I said, biting my lip.

Excusing myself, I headed back to my room. I found a small file box and placed the sheet music inside before slipping it underneath my bed so it was hidden away. So that was my day today. I feel like I'm mostly rambling to you at this point. I'll talk to you later.

-Jessica Snow


	20. Entry 19: Christmas

**AN: Interesting chapter, this one. I feel like it was kind of a filler in between Jesse making and giving Erik his surprise. But here you go. 1100 views as of May 22, 2019! Thanks so much you guys! (One more entry and an epilogue!)**

December 24, 2018

Alright. I'm just going to go ahead and apologize now. This is the longest I've gone without writing and I'm sorry about that. But, hey. It's Christmas eve! I've officially been here for three years. That's kind of strange to think about. Whenever I've gotten the chance, I've practiced my song for Erik. I think he's really going to like it. Oh, and another thing, we got a visitor for Christmas. She arrived last week. I just realized I'm not really sticking to one topic of conversation. Anyway, the visitor. You'll never guess who it is. Everyone was super surprised when she showed up and announced she'd be staying through Christmas. I know Erik certainly was...

No guesses? I suppose since you're a diary you can't very well respond, now can you? I'll just tell you, then. IT'S CHRISTINE! No, I didn't write that wrong. Christine is here and will be leaving the day after tomorrow. We've had so much fun this past week catching up. Erik's been avoiding us like the plague... She's staying in her old room across the hall from mine and we spend hours talking. Just last night she was in my room visiting with me until three in the morning. And every night since she arrived has been similar to that. We alternate visiting in her room or mine. I'm pretty exhausted because of it.

Her wedding is next month and she invited me to be her one and only bride's maid. Of course I agreed. It's really kind of crazy how much our relationship changed after I stopped Erik from killing Raoul. That and those few nights we spent talking in the hall outside our rooms before she left. You'd never guess from seeing us now that just a few months ago I resented her for arriving and wanted nothing to do with her. You'd think we've been friends forever. I feel like I'm rambling now. This is all probably really mundane and you don't want to hear about it, right?

Let's move on then... So Erik. He was pretty speechless when Christine walked through the front door last week and announced she'd be staying for Christmas. After her announcement, he slipped out while everyone was talking with her and I haven't seen him since. I've thought I sensed him behind the mirror a few times on the nights when Christine and I talked in my room, but I could never be sure since she was in the room. The presence seemed to disappear when she excused herself to go to bed in her room. So consequently, even if I did bother to check after she leaves, I doubt I would find anything or anyone there.

* * *

I just got back from Erik's room. I doubt he even noticed I was there. When I arrived, he was at his organ playing away. It was obvious he was sucked into his own little world. I'm really kind of upset about today. Normally, Erik never leaves my side on Christmas Eve. It's always been kind of _our_ day. However, he's still avoiding me and Christine. It's rather annoying. I miss him. Anyway, when I was down there, I took advantage of him being distracted and left the copy of the song I wrote for him down there where I knew he would find it.

I think I'm gong to sign off now, my dear diary. I'm heading over to Christine's room tonight. Farewell!

-Jessica Snow


	21. Entry 20: The Song

**AN: And here we are! Last entry in Miss Snow's diary! All that's left for you folks is the epilogue which will be up on Thursday as usual. Enjoy and thanks for the support on this journey! Also, I'm sorry for not posting Entry 19 on Tuesday, so you got that one and this one. I promise Thursday I will be posting the epilogue. Sorry again, and enjoy! P.S. Look up All About Your Heart by Mindy Gledhill to hear the complete song that is in this chapter and is where the name for this story comes from. Now enjoy!**

December 25, 2018

OH. MY. GOODNESS! That was amazing! He loved it! He really loved it! And then he gave me my present and... I'm probably getting ahead of myself, huh? Let me explain. I just came from spending my morning with Erik. It was great...

"Good morning, Erik," I said, stepping into the room through the passage.

"Good morning, Jesse," he replied, not turning to face me.

He was studying some sheet music and as I walked over, I realized it was the song I had written for him.

"Erik?"

"Hm?"

"Everything alright?"

"Would you like to sing, my dear?"

I smiled, nodding my head. Erik launched into the first few bars of the song and I came in right on my cue.

_"I don't mind your odd behavior.  
It's the very thing I love.  
If you were an ice cream flavor,  
you would be my favorite one._

_"My imagination sees you  
like a paining by Van Gogh.  
Starry Nights and bright sunflowers  
follow you where you may go._

_"Oh, I've loved you from the start,  
in every single way,  
and more each passing day.  
You are brighter than the stars.  
Believe me when I say,  
it's not about your scars,  
it's all about your heart."_

As we continued the song, I could see tears start to form and fall down Erik's cheeks listening to the lyrics I sang with such emotion. I didn't want any room for doubt in his mind as to why I loved him and knew I had chosen the perfect way to show it. As he played the final notes and the sound faded out, we let the silence overtake us, only broken by the sound of my breathing as I tried to recover from singing my heart out. We were both crying by that point and after a few moments, Erik was the one to break the silence.

"Oh, Jesse. Thank you," he breathed.

Instead of replying, I took the initiative and pulled him into a kiss. For those few moments, the rest of the world didn't exist. It was just the two of us reveling in each others company before we broke apart. I could feel a slight blush come to my cheeks. Erik started fidgeting with something in his pocket and I cocked my head questioningly.

"Jesse, I'm afraid my present for you is rather plain in comparison to what you have just given me."

"Oh, Erik, you know I love anything you give me."

"There's actually something I need to ask you," he continued.

"What is it, Erik?"

I could see Erik physically shaking as he got down on one knee and pulled a ring box out of his pocket. I gasped as he opened it to reveal a ring consisting of a simple gold band and a pitch black diamond center.

"Jessica Snow, would you do the honor of being my wife?"

"Oh, Erik, yes! A thousand times, yes!" I practically squealed.

Erik's hand shook as he slipped the ring onto my finger. He stood and we kissed once more...

So, that's been my Christmas so far. Oh, I'm so happy! Erik and I are engaged! Eek! Christine wants to spend some time together so I'm off to do that now. Au revoir, my diary!

-Jessica Snow


	22. Epilogue

**AN: Et voila! Here we are at the end. Enjoy!**

March 2026

I sat in the rocking chair on the porch, watching Killian and Ameline chase each other around the yard. My hand rested on the nice bump that had begun forming telling Erik and I that we were due to expect another child in a few months. It had been a blissful few years once Erik and I had married. He had left the asylum in the care of Nadir and Antoinette and we had moved out of France. We had both been surprised when I had become pregnant with Killian two years after we had moved. Naturally, Erik was terrified that he would pass his affliction on to his child.

I had convinced him that no matter what happened, we would love him regardless. Thankfully, Killian had been born a perfect, healthy little boy. Two years later, he became a big brother when his sister Ameline came along. Again, I had to convince Erik that no matter what happened, we would love our child. Again, Ameline was born perfect and healthy. I hadn't informed Erik yet, but every once in a while I could feel two separate kicks coming from inside me. I knew if it had been a nightmare for Erik through the first two with only one baby to worry about, twins would be absolute chaos.

However, no matter what, I knew just like the first two times, my argument would remain the same. No matter what happened, we would love these children with all our hearts regardless of appearance. After all, as our family motto went that came from the song I had written for Erik when we had gotten engaged, "it's not about your scars, it's all about your heart." Erik came outside then, finally taking a break from composing inside.

"Hello, darling," I greeted him.

"Hello, love," he replied, leaning in for a kiss.

"Erik, want to feel something?"

I took one of his long hands and placed it on my stomach. A moment later, a small kick pushed against the pressure, and I saw Erik's eyes widen in that familiar look of terror I had become used to seeing through my months of pregnancy. I then moved his hand to the other side of my stomach where he felt a second kick.

"T-twins?" he whispered, going paler than normal.

"Yes, and we will love both of them regardless of their appearances, won't we?"

"O-of course we will."

* * *

Four months later I lay in bed holding two beautiful baby girls in my arms. They were named Ange and Madeleine. Madeleine had a slight deformity, not as severe as her father's, but despite it, she was beautiful. When Erik had first seen it, he had started to cry and begged a thousand apologies for giving me a deformed child. I quickly silenced him, reminding him once again that it didn't matter. She was beautiful and we would love her with all our hearts. Our children were split. Killian and Madeleine resembled their father and Ameline and Ange resembled me.

Erik slipped into bed beside me, taking Madeleine from my arms. He had made a special bond with the child after the twins were born.

"I love you, Erik," I whispered through the dark.

"I love you too, my dear," he whispered back, kissing the top of my head.

We drifted off snuggled in each others arms, holding our beautiful children close to our hearts.


End file.
